Saturday, August 3, 2013

Tangled Thread

Have you had those situations where something goes from bad to worse?  There have been times when the more I try to rectify something I’ve bungled, the worse it got.

Imagine the scene… a weaving loom containing multiple colors of threads that intertwine to make a beautiful tapestry of fabric.  A new employee is seated at the loom.  



Above her, the sign reads: 



As she works one of the threads gets tangled.  She tries her best to get the thread straightened out and back into place, but instead other threads become engaged in the tangle and she has a mess! 

Finally deciding that she is not able to fix the situation, she calls the supervisor.  Upon arriving, the supervisor asks if she saw the sign above?  Yes, she replied with shame.  Why didn’t you follow the instruction?  She said, “I thought I could figure it out on my own.”

How often are the circumstances of our lives like this?

Now, imagine this… someone offends us…there is one small tangle in our complex matrix of relationships.  Instead of calling the supervisor to help us deal with the issue when it only involves one person…one thread…we share our offense with another person.  That person doesn’t know how to help you, so they involve another person.  Now there are four threads involved in what was at first a simple situation.



A problem often starts with a small tangle and has a way of escalating into a complex tangled mess.  This makes me think about the tangled web of relationships that we navigate every day.  The family I grew up in fought in silence, so I did not learn the skills necessary to resolve even simple conflicts.  



 When we don’t grow up in family systems that teach us how to handle the difficulties in relationships well, we gather skills from others, which may or may not be helpful.  Mission, Jesus style seeks direct help from the supervisor…the one who established relationship and can teach us how to navigate.

The first instruction we receive for conflict is:  "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.  But if he will not listen…    MATTHEW 18:!5


Are you seeking advice about relationships from the one who knows them best?  

1 comment:

tag said...

What? I don't get to write pithy emails to express my displeasure??? Loll